In which I am not without grace and poise.

One of my many, many (HI, DID I MENTION I AM OVER-WORKED*) clients this week is a new client. They have two cats and live in a very nice three-level condo. You know the kind with like eight bathrooms, 25 closets, and two bedrooms. Awesome space planning. What? Am I jealous? Well. Maybe of all the closets. Anyway. It’s newly built so the kitchen is that magazine-looking style with beautiful cabinetry and granite counters…yeah, maybe I’m jealous of the kitchen too. But! Back to the story. The kitchen sink has a faucet kind of like this:

You know, where you can pull the end of the faucet out and there’s a cord and you have an adjustable sprayer to move around the sink? And they have a button or something on the faucet for your water streaming options? And why am I explaining this like none of my readers have ever seen an adjustable sprayer faucet before? Anyhoo. Their faucet doesn’t have a button, it instead has an adjustable knob at the mouth of the faucet (is that even what that part’s called? Where the water comes out? I am no rocket scientist).

ANYWAY. So today I’m rinsing out the cat dishes, and pull on the end of the nozzle (heh) to change the water from spray to stream. Except I pull the ENTIRE END OFF so that water shoots straight out of the faucet. LIKE A WATER HOSE. IN THE NICE NEW KITCHEN. Like this:

Except much more water. It felt like minutes, but I’m sure I only stood there gaping at it for a few seconds in shock. Then I started to put the knob back on the faucet, unsuccessfully, I might add, before thinking to, oh, TURN OFF THE WATER FIRST. Genius.

Once I got that taken care of, the two cats, who had been behind me chowing happily on their canned food, were hiding underneath the dining table looking at me with huge eyes like DUDE. WHAT THE HELL.

*I’m not really over-worked. Seriously, any excuse to use all caps. EMPHASIS IS FUN.